“Forgive and forget? I can’t forget how my dad treats my mother,” Meaghan screamed in her counseling session. “So how can I forgive him?”
“Why not take this situation one step at a time?”
Meaghan raised her brows. Then she said, I don’t understand.”
Forgive One Step at a Time
I suggested Meaghan first walk through the truth of her father’s verbal and physical abuse of her mother and how much that hurt her. Her eyes moistened with tears, and she sobbed. “He scared me. I hated all the commotion. Worst of all, Mom’s taken it for years, and I sure don’t understand that.”
Meaghan shook and cried again. She said that her dad also mistreats the kids. “I can’t stand his screaming, cursing, and temper tantrums.”
In almost a whisper I said, “Forgive one step at a time, especially when you’ve been traumatized.”
Meaghan nodded and leaned back in her chair.
Forgive one step at a time. #forgive, #forgiveness Share on XForgive and Forget? Is That Possible?
“In the Bible, God tells us numerous times to forgive, but he never says, ‘Forgive and forget.’” I paused for Meaghan to think about that. “If you forget, you may place yourself in a dangerous situation with your father and subject yourself to more abuse.”
At the end of the session, Meaghan left with a journaling assignment and a Bible verse to meditate on and memorize.
Your circumstances may not be the same as Meaghan’s, but you may also struggle with forgiveness. You may think you can’t forgive unless you forget.
Forgiveness won’t change the past. A healed memory doesn’t mean you develop amnesia about it.
Forgiveness won't change the past. #forgive, #forgiveness Share on XProverbs 22:3: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”
Prayer: Dear God, help me understand that I can forgive, but to forget may put me in danger again. Amen.
Application: What will you do this week to begin the process to forgive?
Copyright © by Yvonne Ortega May 25, 2015 Updated on April 30, 2020
