Missionary dating? You may wonder what that means. Perhaps you question how it connects with what happens when your dream shatters. Missionary dating is my term for dating a non-Christian when your dream shatters. Divorce, death, or the breakup of a relationship occurred, and you as a Christian date a nonbeliever. You could be a single person without any loss who dates a nonbeliever.
Hang on! I won’t judge you. That’s God’s job, not mine. Here are my three reasons for my stand against missionary dating.
First, God warns us against missionary dating.
God doesn’t use the term missionary dating. He warns against idolatry that comes from the association with unbelievers.
In Joshua 23:6–8, Joshua, the leader of the Israelites after Moses, spoke with the leaders of Israel. He said,
“Be very strong; be careful to obey all that is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, without turning aside to the right or to the left. Do not associate with these nations that remain among you; do not invoke the names of their gods or swear by them. You must not serve them or bow down to them. But you are to hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have until now.”
You may think, That’s the Old Testament. Anyway, I’m not an Israelite.
Let’s look at the New Testament. In 2 Corinthians 6:14a, the Bible says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
Second, missionary dating has consequences.
The Israelites turned away from God and intermarried with unbelievers. In Joshua 23:12–13, Joshua told the Israelites, “If you turn away . . . and if you intermarry with them and associate with them . . . they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes . . .”
After I learned the hard way, the thought of more snares and traps in addition to whips and thorns makes me want to run the other way and not look back. Remember Lot’s wife who looked back? (Genesis 19:26)
If you want to see what the New Testament says, read 2 Corinthians 6:14b, “For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
For clarification, that righteousness comes from faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of your life. The warning is against idolatry because God comes first. The light comes from God. The darkness comes from sin.
A woman in another state dated a handsome man with a great job. They became engaged when he agreed to go to church and Bible study with her. He professed to be a Christian and attended every Sunday during their year-long engagement.
After their honeymoon, he never returned to church. His bible collected dust. He belittled her beliefs and said, “If we have children, you will not raise them in the church.”
He wanted to take first place before God. Talk about snares, traps, whips, and thorns. Heartache.
Countless others have shared a similar story with me.
Related Internal Post on My Website:
Create a New Dream through Trust in the Lord
Third, my story confirms God’s stand.
After my divorce was final, a woman called to inform me a square dancer from another area had moved to my area. He wanted a dance partner. We went from dance partners to dating.
I explained my beliefs and my desire not to marry a nonbeliever. He said, “Oh, you want me to go to church with you? That’s easy. I can do that.”
His response left no doubt in my mind he wasn’t a Christian. Faith is about a relationship with Jesus Christ, not church attendance.
However, he met me at church on Sunday mornings and one evening a week for Bible study. He didn’t do the homework and showed no signs of change. A few Sundays later, he walked forward in the church service, told the pastor he was sorry for his sins, believed in Jesus Christ, and asked to be baptized.
After the service, I said, “If you’re using my church and the Bible to get me to marry you, I want you to know I’m praying that God will expose you, and nothing will be hidden.
He turned pale and didn’t say a word. God answered my prayer, exposed him, and spared me.
You and I can point to Christian couples who divorced. We can also mention believers who married non-Christians and are still married. Exceptions will always exist, but they don’t change the fact that people usually date to find a marriage partner. We also don’t know what goes on behind their closed doors.
External Related Link:
https://relevantmagazine.com/life5/relationships/why-dating-non-christian-such-big-deal/
Conclusion and Next Step
In conclusion, my three reasons against missionary dating are:
- God warns against idolatry.
- It has consequences.
- My story confirms God’s stand.
If you find yourself in a missionary dating situation or consider it, spend time alone with God and seek his guidance.
Copyright © by Yvonne Ortega April 23, 2020
The title caught my eye. I’ve never heard that term Missionary Dating before. Thank you for your enlightenment. I really enjoyed your personal story about the guy who was pursuing you and how hidden motives were revealed. He’s really good at uncovering and revealing. Thankful for the work of Holy Spirit in the lives of those who believe.
Evelyn,
Thank you so much. I’m glad the title caught your eye. Yes, thank God that He does uncover and reveal hidden motives of others through the Holy Spirit in believers. Have a wonderful Spirit-filled week at home.