When Father’s Day Is Difficult, What Do You Do? by Yvonne Ortega
When Father’s Day is difficult, what do you do? Father’s Day will be difficult for me this year. My father passed away two months ago. What about you? Perhaps your father also died. A friend of mine lost her father and her stepfather. Father’s Day will be difficult for you and her too.
Maybe your father or stepfather is ill and could die at any moment. You may be planning the viewing, church service, and burial or cremation.
Perhaps your father physically, emotionally, or sexually abused you. Maybe your father divorced your mother when you when you were a child and disappeared. Father’s Day will be difficult for you too.
Your father may have been addicted to alcohol or other drugs, and you suffered because of the chaos in the home. You may have no interest in Father’s Day.
Commercials abound on radio, TV, and the newspaper to remind you to buy your dad a Father’s Day card or that suggest the perfect cologne, fishing gear, or electronics to buy him. You may want to turn off the radio and TV or toss the newspaper.
Those commercials bring pain, not help.
Church may also bring pain because of the pastor’s message about fathers and the people saying “Happy Father’s Day” to the men of the church.
As for lunch or dinner, again, TV, radio, and newspaper commercials will flood you with brunch or buffet specials for Father’s Day.
You may want to do what I plan to do. I will eat at home or order a take-out meal. I don’t want to watch families eat together and their dad open his gifts. That would make Father’s Day more difficult for me.
Another suggestion would be to invite a friend or two to your home to eat a potluck meal or to order take-out.
You may prefer a quiet day at home to journal, listen to music, or watch a movie. You may also see the day as an opportunity to work on your goals for the next six months.
Whatever you decide, remember that our heavenly Father God loves you with an unconditional love. He doesn’t have office hours and longs to hear from you. He will never turn you away.
Tell God how you feel and allow him to bring you comfort and peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 4: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
Prayer: God, Father’s Day will be difficult for me. Please help me plan the day and get through it. Amen.
What will you do on Father’s Day?
Copyright © by Yvonne Ortega VI.XI.MMXVIII
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I was blessed with a wonderful father. He left for Heaven on Easter Sunday, April 12, 1998. I miss him dearly. Our family loves to share special memories of Daddy on Father’s Day and all throughout the year.
Melissa Henderson, thank you so much for stopping by. I’m thrilled to know you had a wonderful father and that although he is deceased, he is in heaven. What a blessing to be able to share special memories of your dad not only on Father’s Day but throughout the year.
Melissa, you were blessed indeed! I’m sorry for the loss of your wonderful father. Sharing special memories is a fabulous idea and helps to keep the memories alive. It also brings joy.
I loved reading this blog post, as well as reading your book, Moving From Broken to Beautiful Through Grief. When I was 20 I lost my father on May 30th. Just a few weeks after was the first Father’s Day without him. It was so fresh and tender on my spirit loosing him. I can remember stoping at the grocery store to by a small ballon to put in his grave. Lifting you and others up as you walk through this Fathers Day!
Ashley Murphy, thank you so much for stopping by, for your support, and words of encouragement. I’m glad you loved this blog post and my book, Moving from Broken to Beautiful® through Grief. Thank you also for your prayers for me and others as we “walk through this Father’s Day.” God bless you this Father’s Day.
This writing hit me full head on. I will not go into details except that my father filed for divorce on my 16th birthday. I don’t have a lot of good memories of him. He passed away almost a year ago now. After I got married Father’s Day was a huge thing as we celebrated with with my father in law. When we had kids we focused on Father’s Day with my father in law but also my husband. Now that my father in law has passed, we have celebrated the father my husband is to our children. This will be the first year they will not be able to get home for it but the two of us will go on a picnic or something to enjoy and be thankful for the father he is.
Debbie, I’m so sorry about your father filing for divorce and especially on your 16th birthday. My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry for the loss of your wonderful father-in-law, but thankful beyond words that your husband has been a good father.
This article is bitter/sweet for me. My father is still alive and was awesome, but I have friends and family that have a different story. I love the suggestions you give. I pray we as a church and society will become more sensitive to the needs of those around us.
Thank you for stopping by, Evelyn Sanders Burns. I’m so happy to hear that your father is still alive and was awesome. Sadly, many cannot say that. I pray the suggestions I gave will bless them.