When You Have to Forgive Again

By Debbie W. Wilson @debbieWwilson.com

Forgive Over and Over 

Forgiveness cleanses our personal injuries like soap and water disinfect a physical wound. And like my childhood injuries, some personal hurts require more than one washing to heal. Sometimes we have to forgive over and over again (Matt. 18:21-22).

Sometimes we forgive the same person over and over before we let go of the pain. Share on X

Years ago, I read an article in a well-respected Christian periodical that said you can tell you have not truly forgiven if you still hurt. I had tried to forgive someone who continued to cause my family suffering. This article discouraged me. I’d chosen to forgive, not retaliate, and turn the person over to God, but the pain remained.

Forgive again and again because the pain remains

Now I know the author was wrong. If someone kicks your shin and your body doesn’t hurt that is not a good thing. And you expect the pain from a knife between the ribs to last longer than a kick in the shin. When you forgive an offense, whether it was intentional or accidental, the pain doesn’t immediately stop.

That is true for personal wounds too. Forgiveness cleanses the wound, so we will heal without bitterness. But forgiving doesn’t instantly heal us or eradicate pain. And the bigger the loss, the longer it may take to heal.

Some Wounds Require Repeated Forgiveness

The “Christian” builder of one of our homes never paid us back for our kitchen cabinets and the other expenses we paid out of pocket to finish the house. After we moved in, his subs appeared at our door demanding to be paid. His lack of supervision left us with creaky floors and work that had to be redone. Over a span of years, we suffered from his irresponsibility each time we had to pay someone to take care of things he had botched. Every time irritation over this needless cost and inconvenience seeped into my consciousness I had to forgive again.

That loss is small compared to the wife whose husband left their marriage for another woman or the child killed by a drunk driver. Daily reminders keep these losses alive.

Deep wounds often throb even after they appear to be healed. Unexpected pangs jar us when a chance meeting or conversation pokes a wound.

We Forgive; God Heals

Joseph suffered over and over again after his brothers sold him into slavery. Their betrayal cost him thirteen years in slavery and prison and twenty years of separation from his beloved father and brother. Genesis 45:2-8 and 50:15-21 show the deep emotions Joseph felt years after forgiving and reconciling with his brothers.

We forgive; God heals. #forgive Share on X

Thankfully, most wounds are forgiven and forgotten. However, wounds mend at different rates. If you continue to seep pain and bitterness even after you forgive, don’t beat yourself up. Let forgiveness cleanse your wound again. How often? As often as the toxins seep into your consciousness. See

https://www.yvonneortega.com/forgive-and-forget/

Every time we extend forgiveness cleanses, we heal a little more. And more healing makes the need for cleansing less frequent. Forgiveness is God’s provision to cleanse our wounds. And healing comes in His timing, not ours.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble and He saved them from their distress. He sent forth His word and healed them,” (Psalm 107:19-20).

My husband, Larry Wilson, lassoed my heart at a summer project in Colorado when we were on staff with the high school ministry of Cru (then called Campus Crusade for Christ). Together we co-founded Lighthouse Ministries of Raleigh, NC in 1991 where I served as a biblical counselor and Bible teacher for 24 years. My ministry has turned to speaking, teaching, coaching, and writing. Our two grown children are our best friends. Our two standard poodles add a dash of affection and fun and have been known to inspire some blogs. Beauty—whether from nature, fresh flowers, art, or interior design energizes me. Dark chocolate and I have a love-hate relationship. And when the air is sweet, I dream of Narnia.