Whether you’re a widow, a divorced woman, or single, you will face paperwork or people who ask you what your marital status is. It may trigger a different reaction and need according to your status. You can handle it.

You can answer the marital status question as a widow.

The question can remind you of beautiful memories. They could be years of love, tenderness, and companionship. Times of sweet fellowship in the Lord as you prayed together every day for a solid marriage and for the children. Teardrops could glisten on your face. You could smile as you recall how he brought you a cup of coffee in bed every morning.

As a widow, you might benefit from grief counseling or a support group like GriefShare.

On the other hand, the memories could be a nightmare of the past. Secrets of abuse, betrayal, and lies. Ashley told me, “I was relieved when he died. The name-calling, cursing, and belittlement ended.”

You can answer the marital status question. #widow, #grief Share on X

Ashley had to go through his belongings and get rid of them. She also had stacks of paperwork to handle. She smiled and said, “I felt happy when I delivered the boxes of his clothes to a thrift store. I had more room for my clothes.”

A hearty laugh from deep within Ashley came out. “I felt happier when I finished the last bit of paperwork. My mother, a friend, and I went to lunch to celebrate.”

Perhaps you feel like Ashley. You’re glad he’s gone. You may feel hurt and angry about your late husband’s adultery. Talk about frustration. You can’t even confront him.

Related Internal Link:

Forgive and Forget? Is That Possible? 

You can answer the marital status question as a divorced woman.

A friend at church asked Amanda where her husband was. Amanda said, “I’m divorced.”

“Divorced? I can’t be friends with you anymore.”

“The friendship ended that fast.” After a pause, Amanda said, “What kind of a friend was she?”

“A shallow one.” I gave her a minute to think about my answer. Then I said, “A friend would have asked how she could help you.”

“That would have been a good question. I need friends to stand by my side.”

“She could have expressed sorrow about the divorce. Too bad she didn’t ask if she could pray for you.”

Amanda sat up in her chair and said, “I could use the prayer. She took off her jacket and hung it over the chair. “If she knew about his abuse and adultery, she might have prayed for me to get through the turmoil. Instead, that woman condemned me.”

Related Internal Link:

You Can Stop the Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce

You can answer as a single woman. 

A distant relative who hadn’t seen Elizabeth in twelve years asked if she was married yet. Elizabeth looked at her and said, “No, that’s not my choice. I have no desire to marry.”

That relative stepped back and said, “You’ll be sorry. You’ll be lonelier than  anyone else on the planet.”

As a single person, you can answer the marital status question. #self respect, #confidence Share on X

“No, I won’t be. I enjoy my freedom, friends, and fellowship.”

Elizabeth told me about that conversation, I said, “Not everyone wants to be married. Not all married people are happy, just as not all single people are. The research shows that the never-married are not as lonely.”

On that note, Elizabeth clapped and went home.

Related External Link: 

Singledout: why can’t we believe unmarried, childless women are happy?

Conclusion and Next Step

In conclusion, you can answer the marital status question as a:

• widow with a possible need for grief counseling or forgiveness
• divorced woman who may need a divorce support group
• single woman who makes her own decisions

If you are in one of the three categories listed above, spend time alone in prayer and meditation to decide your next step. If this article doesn’t apply to you, please share it with someone who could benefit from it.

Copyright © by Yvonne Ortega April 30, 2020. Updated May 25, 2021.