Jealousy or mistrust after divorce? Why does it creep in after divorce? Maybe you’ve sensed that your married friends feel uneasy around you. Perhaps they no longer include you in their social functions, even if it’s only the women going out for breakfast or lunch.
Jealousy or Mistrust After Divorce Around Spouses
At a speaking engagement, one woman told me through tears, “My friend of fifteen years said, “Jealousy or mistrust after divorce creeps in.” She fidgeted with her car keys and added, “My husband had an affair years ago, and I don’t want him to see you as a woman on the hunt for an affair.”
“How do you feel about your friend’s response?”
The woman said, “I was angry that she didn’t think anymore of me than that. Besides, what makes her think I would want her husband?” She laughed and said, “I have enough problems of my own without him.”
Jealousy or Mistrust Around Friends
While at a conference, one of the attendees said, “I need to find new friends. My married ones don’t include me in their “girls’ night out” or lunch plans anymore.”
I wondered if she had asked her married female friends why. Then she said, “I did ask why they didn’t include me anymore.” One of them answered, ‘We don’t mean to.’”
She threw her arms up and said, “What kind of an answer is that?”
With a nod, I said, “Not a good one, and the same one I got.”
We both laughed but talked about how it hurt. However, we decided to find new friends. We chose to move forward.
Jealousy or Mistrust After Divorce Among the Divorced
My first Thanksgiving after the legal separation, I attended a Sunday school class potluck dinner for the single again. They knew I was legally separated. Since the first table was full, I went to the second table. Only one man sat at that table, but others were coming behind me, A gal whispered to me, “That’s Marcia’s boyfriend. She’s going to sit there.”
I moved and squeezed in at the other table. The more I learned about Marcia’s boyfriend, the more convinced I became that I didn’t want to date him or anyone else. Within months, Marcia dropped him.
The Meat Market Mentality
Divorce recovery groups provide comfort, encouragement, and support during this major transition in life. And yet, uneasy feelings can slip in because of those who go not for recovery but to meet their next date or spouse.
The first time Greg went to a divorce recovery group, he introduced himself and said, “My goal is to find a wife and get married again in a year.”
The co-facilitators talked with Greg and made it clear that was not the purpose of the divorce recovery group. Since Greg saw no other purpose to attend, the co-facilitators removed him from the group.
For related articles on divorce, read Divorce Recovery: Dealing with Jealousy by Martha Bodyfelt, last updated on 8 July 2018 at:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/divorce-recovery-dealing-with-jealousy/
3 Tips to Fight Off Jealousy and Envy at
https://bacc.cc/3-tips-to-fight-off-jealousy-and-envy/
Find Your Way through the Stages of Grief in Divorce
https://www.yvonneortega.com/find-your-way-through-the-stages-of-grief-in-divorce
James 3:14–15: “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.”
Prayer: God, help me get through the jealousy or mistrust after divorce. Amen.
In conclusion, jealousy or mistrust after divorce creeps in around:
- Spouses
- Friends
- The divorced
- The meat market mentality
Feel free to share this article with family, friends, or coworkers. If you would like to further discuss jealousy or mistrust after divorce with me, you can contact me at 757-529-1222 to schedule a free 30-minute discover call with me.
Copyright © by Yvonne Ortega September 2, 2019
